|We're experiencing new age difficulties. Please stand by.|
Friday, November 29, 2013
Friday, October 18, 2013
|I am no longer responding to stupid questions.|
Why do you fucking care? You actually really don't, do you? It's trite and superficial, so stop asking. And don't give me any of that "I'm-just-trying-to-be-nice" bullshit. Fuck that. If you want to be nice, go get me a goddamn cup of coffee, but don't ask me anymore stupid questions you don't truly want me to answer.It happens all the time. Tiresome, careworn questions that we're socially conditioned to ask, really without thinking it through. If we did, I think we would all talk a lot less and that might be a good thing. People talk too much, asking stupid shit and personally, I could use some peace and quiet.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
|Temperatures soar high in a down month.|
I can't say for sure what this day will bring - or take away - but from a historical perspective, August has had plenty of bad press. Why is this, I wonder? Why doesn't anyone get excited about the month of August the way they might about December, October or even April?
Sunday, June 23, 2013
|Frankly, my dear, this line is trite, tiresome and overused.|
Even in more contemporary times, there are scores of classic movie lines we all have come to know as a part of our national lexicon:
Friday, May 24, 2013
|You must be kidding. It is never a great day to be flying.|
Monday, April 01, 2013
|Nadia Giosia is Bitchin' Buffoonery|
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
|The best part of any Tuesday is its ending.|
A lot of people hate Mondays more than Tuesdays, but I disagree. Mondays are actually sort of special. You officially and finally conclude your weekend and prepare for another workweek. You pick up where you left off after a two day reprieve. Sometimes Mondays are shitty, but they only end up that way. They don't start out that way. At least you don't wake up on a Monday and say, "This is a shitty day." You usually make that assessment sometime after you get into your day.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
|Woo-hoo! People stupider than me!|
I'm way overdue for another installment of Folks' Folly to comment on the continued exhibition of the lame-brained, obtuse, dim-witted, simple-minded, thick-headed morons, idiots and imbeciles who never leave me with a shortage of material to write about. Homer Simpson continues to have Einstein-esque intelligence compared to some of the dunderheads on this planet, and will forever remain my avatar for each edition of Folks' Folly.
There is some crazy shit afoot in the first few weeks of 2013. I blame it on the Mayan. If their fucking calendar had been right, the planet would have been destroyed and we wouldn't be having to put up with this craziness.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
|Annoyed Cat is Watching You|
First off, however, I wanted to return to the last list I did like this in 2009, and see if those people were any more or less annoying three years hence. You can go to that blog posting by clicking here, but itemized below for your consideration is an update to my Top Ten Most Annoying People of 2009, to wit:
Thursday, November 22, 2012
|Ding, Dong, the Ding-Dong is Dead, and the Twinkie, too.|
In the seventies, Blyth Danner was chosen as company spokesperson, advertising incessantly on the quality and wholesomeness of Hostess' products when food activists began to put the Twinkie in their sites as an affront to the emerging healthful tofu, alfalfa eating trends. Of course, Blyth also was a spokesperson for Obama, calling Romney a "flip-flopper who will say anything to get elected," so you can judge her credibility for yourself.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
|For the love of God, say something original.|
Or take the first person who wrote with improper punctuation to make emphasis of a tired expression: "Oh. My. God."
Pretty cute, huh? Yes, until now. Everyone is doing it and thus it has become: Trite. Useless. Crap.
Saturday, September 01, 2012
|Open and insert. Don't think about it.|
"What on earth do you need a clothespin for?" she asked. "I'm doing the laundry."
"I need it for my bike," I explained, as if that fully answered the question.
"You need it for your bike to do what?" she pressed.
"Um, well, I can take one of these," I said, holding up a bubblegum card, "and put it on my bike with a clothespin by the front wheel. It makes a cool noise when the spokes hit the card. It sounds like a racing bike!"
Saturday, August 25, 2012
|Where are my royalty checks, me-dammit?|
Really? They got God to work with them on this?
This statement is as full of hubris as it is incredulity that anyone would actually fall for it. Let's call this for what it is: a corporate revenue strategy designed generally to exploit people's stupidity in religious beliefs.
Sunday, August 05, 2012
Frankly, there are a whole lot of us heterosexuals who do not give a fuck how others attain their orgasms; neither what orifice in which sex might be used, or whether used in a legally binding relationship or not. It just isn't important. As a matter of fact, the gay people that I know are hard working, mobily upward people with advanced finance degrees who live in high dual-income households residing in way above-average dwellings, and therefore probably pay above-average taxes, so I say the more of them we have, the better the economy.
Friday, July 13, 2012
|Sliced Bread - What was the greatest thing before it?|
"The greatest thing since sliced bread. So this is it? A couple thousand years…sliced bread? What about the Pyramids? The Panama Canal? The Great Wall of China? Even a lava lamp, to me, is greater than sliced bread. What's so great about sliced bread? You got a knife, you got a loaf of bread. Slice the fuckin' thing!! And get on with your life."Here are just a few sayings that George didn't touch, which I've heard frequently if not recently, that give me pause to ask, simply, "what the fuck?"
Sunday, July 08, 2012
|Say hello to my little friend.|
"A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed." -Second Amendment to the US Constitution
Yep. I'm packing. And I'll tell you why:
(Fox News) VANCOUVER, Wash. – Two teenagers got more than they bargained for when a Washington state woman they attempted to assault turned out to be an expert in martial arts.
KATU reports that Priscilla Dang was jogging in her Vancouver neighborhood last Friday when she was approached by two teenagers on their bikes.
One pulled in front of her as the other groped her from behind.
Friday, June 29, 2012
|It's not the Awful House!|
Not that anyone called it a tax. If they had called it a tax, the bill would never have made it through the court of public opinion to begin with. But politicians being who they are, generally people who cannot tell the truth, it was never called a tax, and now, okay, we've all been taxed by the fed - again. Now, thirty million people, mostly young people who rarely use the heath care system, will have to dip into their pocket to buy health insurance, and when insurance companies start going out of business because the government no longer allows them to be profitable, the only insurance you're going to get will be from the fucking government. And will all the illegal aliens that Obama will allow to stay in this country now be required to get insurance, too? Yeah, right.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Monday, July 11, 2011
|Illusion is the means to enable deception.|
Not only are things not as they seem these days, but distortion and deception are such a part of the present American experience, one can almost count on the truth to be the exact polar opposite of whatever is in front of them, particularly in the area of politics or with politically active organizations that will rarely be honest about their true agenda.
Take People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, for example. PETA's definition of "ethical" is highly subjective. I consider it entirely ethical to eat KFC, cook a steak and wear leather shoes. If PETA and its liberal agenda were forced upon us anymore than it already is, however, we would all be cotton-wearing vegetarians forbidden to teach old dogs new tricks. Their agenda is not about treating animals ethically. It's about imposing a screwy belief system on society.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
|Jesus Saves....his time dealing with fools like Camping.|
The deadline for the apocalypse passed in the Pacific islands, New Zealand and Australia without a bang.
According to the Christian broadcaster, Harold Camping, Judgment Day was supposed to bring a massive earthquake, powerful enough to throw open graves, followed by a slow death for all non-believers over the next five months across the globe.
Camping says his predictions are based on taking direct quotes and stories from the Bible and applying them to numerological formulas. According to him, May 21, 2011 is exactly 7,000 years since the flood in the biblical story of Noah's Ark. He doesn't say what extraordinary archeological evidence he came by to make such an accurate prediction. Neither does he say if this was the first day of the flood, or the last. In fact, his whole scientific methodology that support his conclusions is rather sketchy.
Friday, April 01, 2011
|Charlie's lost his sheen.|
Far be it from me to assess Charlie's talent as an actor. I've never actually watched Three and a Half Men, and I stopped watching any movies this guy was in after he cried like a little girl at the end of Wall Street in 1985. But I can assess his talent as a pompous ass and egomaniacal drug addict. He's pretty good at it.
Most people who show up for work fucked up on drugs and alcohol get fired, especially the ones that go on a media tour to give everyone listening disparaging remarks about their employer. And that's exactly what happened to Charlie. In a remarkable display of intolerance for the outrageous antics and deranged behavior by anyone who can make them money, Warner Brothers clipped the petulant actor's TV gig for lashing out publicly at his producer.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
|Sesame Street's last supper on my dime.|
Of course, it didn't take any time at all for the Democrats to resort to the old trick of trotting out beloved children's characters to the Capitol steps for a press conference to tug on our heartstrings and stump for money for public broadcasting.
"Arthur the Aardvark fought for his life last week. With the Capitol in the background and TV cameras rolling, the children’s character stood shoulder to shoulder with seven House Democrats to tell Congress and America why House Republicans’ plan to wipe out funding for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting is wrong."
Sunday, January 30, 2011
|Real Life Bobblehead Kucinich|
Never mind that the courageousness of this mind-numbingly stupid Congressman doesn't include letting an innocent, unintended incident like this be bygones, or that he, with the compliments of the American taxpayer, has completely free dental care for the rest of his life; this was surely a fight over principle!
The fearless Kucinich led a charge for all Americans in triumph over the evils of a most egregious sandwich that was deemed "unwholesome and unfit for human consumption in that it was represented to contain pitted olives, yet unknown to plaintiff contained an unpitted olive or olives which plaintiff did not reasonably expect to be in the food prepared for him, and could not visually detect prior to consumption."
While the same might be said of those who prepared the sandwich, by god, this man was entitled to recover damages "including but not limited to past and future dental and medical expenses, compensation for pain, suffering and loss of enjoyment and other damage." Oh, and the money. Kucinich was suing for the fucking money, which, no doubt, the cafeteria's liability insurance carrier was more than happy to pay. Any settled amount to the good Congressman would be far less expensive than litigation.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
|There a reason why Jared Loughner looks crazy as a loon.|
Not that no one noticed how screwed up Jared Loughner was. For months, he creeped out his professors and other students at Aztec Middle College with deranged behavior that included sudden outbursts in class, asking inappropriate questions that were not related to the subject matter being discussed, and strange reactions to other peoples' emotional content, like laughing at things that were sad. He was finally kicked out of the college in September after authorities found a YouTube video in which he called the school "illegal according to the U.S. Constitution." A follow-up letter warned that in order to return, Loughner had to present a doctor's note stating that "his presence at the college does not present a danger to himself or others."
Sunday, January 02, 2011
|Seems like #3 and #6 are in complete conflict.|
- Lose weight.
Count the number of weight loss or get-fit ads on television this time of year, and it's easy to see why people fall prey to this fantasy. Everyone is selling a diet or a deal, a pill or a program, a machine or a method, or some other panacea to make the thought of losing weight and getting fit more palatable, and to keep you in total denial about the truth of weight loss. There is no diet or deal, no pill, no program, no machine or method that is going to make it easier. Period. Losing weight is a bitch. It isn't easy. If it were, you wouldn't see so many great, big, fat-assed people scarfing down Cinnabons and Häagen-Dazs at the mall. Losing weight is matter of simple mathematics. You must burn more calories than you consume. In other words, you have to push away from the dining table a little earlier than you would otherwise like, and you have to move your ass a lot more than you're doing now. That's it. That's the big secret about weight loss that the $40-billion a year diet industry really doesn't want you to know.
Labels: New Year's Resolutions
Sunday, December 19, 2010
|Ronald ain't so happy-meal anymore.|
The jury awarded a judgment of $50 million to the estate of Marie Evans, who died of lung cancer in 2002. She testified that she first received free Newport Cigarettes as a child while living in a public housing development in Boston. She smoked until her death at age 54. Her only son was awarded $21 million.
Lest anyone think this is about justice and rightful punishment of an American corporation that produces a government sanctioned product that contributes handsomely to the general tax fund, think again. This is about the money. The fact that the injured party had been dead for eight years and her son collected a third of the settlement ought to tell you a lot. The lawyers stand to collect nearly $30 million on the deal.
Thursday, December 02, 2010
|Can't we just scan past all that inconvenient skin?|
And just in case you missed that story back in February when the decree was first issued, the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) put it back in the news last week amid growing disgruntlement from the pre-Thanksgiving traveling public about the perception of the invasiveness this new technology brings. But if you don't like it, you can submit to the invasiveness of some old technology, namely a good, ol' fashioned, Dragnet-style pat down, or perhaps more descriptively put, a probe down.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
|How to be a millionaire on $165K a year.|
Evidently, eleven counts of ethics violations, like failing to report $70,000 in income and failing to pay $10,000 in taxes isn't enough. Nor is failing to report hundreds of thousands of dollars in income and assets on Congressional financial disclosure forms. Failing to disclose three brokerage accounts won't do it, either. And improper use of Congressional staff, paid for by your tax dollars and mine, writing letters soliciting millions of dollars in donations for a hospital center bearing your name won't be enough.
Nope. None of that will get you unemployed in Congress. But when you're a powerful Congressman voting to raise taxes to cover Obama's health care plan, I can only imagine it's easy to lose track of one or more of your checking accounts.
But that's the nature of the Legislative elite who think themselves above the law simply because they can impose them on the rest of us. Congress has always been notoriously unlikely to expel anyone for very much of anything. Only five Congressmen have ever been expelled. Ever. And three of those were for backing the Confederate States of America in the nineteenth century.
Sunday, November 07, 2010
|Sourpuss Reid gets six more years in the Senate.|
Given Reid's victory with at least another two goddamn years of having to look at this obstructionist's dour face, you would have thought the answer to both questions would have gone in Harry's favor? Right?
Wrong! As Nevada voters put this despicable power monger back in the Senate's driver's seat, most assuredly giving us two years of legislative gridlock and higher taxes, they answered these two questions decidedly against Harry. Fifty-five percent of the voters both disapprove of his job as senator and believe he's been in office too long. Yet, 50.2 percent voted him back into power. The swing was 40,000 votes.
How can this be?
If you don't think the unions have the Democratic party by the balls, think again.
Monday, October 25, 2010
|It's no secret that sex sells at Victoria's Secret|